Criterion Couture

Message

Napier · #51 Post by **Napier** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 11:42 am

Thanks for being one of the first people to order from the Criterion store! We're shipping out your order today by US Mail. We've learned a lot in processing the first orders and are working out the kinks in the system. As a way of saying thanks, we haven't charged you for your order. We hope you'll be back to visit the store again soon.

Happy Viewing.

Sincerely,

The Criterion Store

I got 4 free t's,a Rhomer Box,it's Friday,and payday! Thanks Criterion.

#52 Post by **Matt** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 6:05 pm

The store is back up. Prices lowered, boobs and emaciated male models eliminated, shipping free, shirts still unironed.

Regarding the disappearance of the live models, I'd hate to think we're becoming overly influential to Criterion. Really, we're just a bunch of punks who could use a smack in the mouth every now and then. When we complain or joke about stuff like this (except for the Viridiana cover--that was justified), the appropriate response is a large, extended middle finger.

benm · #53 Post by **benm** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 6:50 pm

so when will one of you americans start your own distribution company to sell to us desperate canadians and others?

#54 Post by **Jeff** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 7:26 pm

Well, thanks and kudos to the kids at Criterion for handling things so well. Not only did Criterion not charge me for the order I placed last Tuesday night, they shipped it on Friday, and it arrived today via USPS priority mail. I can see from the label that their shipping cost was $4.05. Between the free merch and fast postage, Criterion spent quite a bit on those initial customers.

Everything is good quality. I am proudly sporting my "Wacky C" cap as I type, and shall wear my asphalt grey Janus Films shirt tomorrow so that people can make fun of me and ask if I work for Janus Funds*.

It looks as if Criterion is handling the operation themselves, so I can understand why it was a bit overwhelming for them at first. The box has a Criterion return address label with the new logo, and was shipped from NY. I suspect that there is a closet in their new offices where they have poor interns (and perhaps well-trained chimpanzees) stuffing shirts and hats in to boxes. To them I say, "Well done chimps and interns! I like my stuff, and appreciate the great service."

* Janus Funds is a ubiquitous Denver-based investment firm which also sports the Janus coin logo.

pmunger · #55 Post by **pmunger** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 7:33 pm

Happy to learn that Criterion is handling the business by themself. How long do you think before they start selling their own DVDs online 'cause right now, it's kind of silly to be able to get a T-shirt but not a DVD don't you think?

Musashi219 · #56 Post by **Musashi219** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 7:40 pm

I just ordered a Janus Films t-shirt myself and was happily surprised to see that shipping via USPS was FREE. I am pleased by this outcome.

Matango · #57 Post by **Matango** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 8:32 pm

Too bad they won't be getting international exposure thru shirts and caps just because they can't grasp the concept of overseas shipping.

#58 Post by **Matt** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 8:51 pm

Matango wrote:Too bad they won't be getting international exposure thru shirts and caps just because they can't grasp the concept of overseas shipping.

As someone who has done a fair bit of international shipping, I don't blame them. It's a complete hassle and I can't imagine doing it for large quantities of packages.

ugobo · #59 Post by **ugobo** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 9:43 pm

No shipping to Canada?!!! VERY disappointing...

#60 Post by **Jeff** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 9:43 pm

matt wrote:Regarding the disappearance of the live models, I'd hate to think we're becoming overly influential to Criterion. Really, we're just a bunch of punks who could use a smack in the mouth every now and then.

I know, I kind of feel bad about it. Criterion is a company of only about 50 employees, and you know that every one of them has this forum bookmarked. I imagine those models were Criterion employees who probably got razzed about their boobs showing up all over the place. I loathe political correctness, but I sincerely hope that we didn't cause too much of a stir and/or any sexual harassment in the Criterion offices. I even feel badly about linking to that picture of a teenaged Matt Lipson, and have since removed it out of respect for his privacy.

This forum used to have a good (if necessarily distanced) relationship with Criterion. "Mulvaney" used to allow Matt to interview him periodically, dropping tantalizing riddles and hints about upcoming titles, Lee Kline was offering shout-outs to us during HTF chats, and they even sent us (Matt) a Christmas card one year. They seemed to cut off those interviews pretty suddenly, Matt. Did they ever give any reason?

Their newsletter has addressed the communication issue to a certain extent, but I would hate to think that such a small, specialized company has a strained relationship with the most dedicated segment of their customer base.

What would really be nice is if Peter Becker could be given a username here, with Chris or Matt confirming that it's actually him via email. He could then comment on issues that deserved comment, deny the outrageous rumors that occasionally pop up, and maybe even drop a hint or two. Peter Staddon and Martin Blythe both did this quite successfully at Home Theater Forum during their tenures at Fox and Paramount. And of course, Nick Wrigley, has been a regular poster here since long before the Masters of Cinema line was created and his continued contributions in that sub-forum have been invaluable. I think I (and others) would be less inclined to make smarmy comments about them if we knew that Criterion employees were in the "room" with us.

In short, sorry Criterion dudes if we've offended any of you. If you'll please come back to me, baby, I promise not to hit you anymore.

#61 Post by **Matt** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:06 am

Jeff wrote:They seemed to cut off those interviews pretty suddenly, Matt. Did they ever give any reason?

No reason. I got one or two "I'll have my responses to you soon" e-mails, but then after 6 months had passed, I just gave up on them ever coming. I guess it could be chalked up to rotating Mulvaneys, but it still rankles.

I don't take it personally, though. Their relationship with HTF has dried up as well. They haven't had a Criterion chat since February '04 and even then that was just Lee Kline who was extremely tight-lipped (though he did call us "a pretty amazing group").

Narshty · #62 Post by **Narshty** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:03 am

For a company with a ribald enough sense of humour to list The Night Porter and Bad Timing under their "sex films" category, they don't seem to be able to take a spot of jesting too well.

Theodore R. Stockton · #63 Post by **Theodore R. Stockton** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:18 pm

So, Has anyone e-mailed them about not having extra large shirts? When they'll only ship to fat Americans, this seems odd. I'd love to see their response as I too am a fat American who wants an extra large.

skuhn8 · #64 Post by **skuhn8** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:40 pm

Hey, just noticed that the grey male unisex t-shirt is designated as "(asphalt)"--can this be a veiled hint of upcoming release? Oh well, happy with my MOC anyway...but yeah, will definitely have to hold off on t's until XL or even XXL appear as I am a fat American abroad. (on a diet, but it's slow taking here what with all the gulyas during summer season).

mikeohhh · #65 Post by **mikeohhh** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:41 pm

oh for christ's sake...

#66 Post by **Matt** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:03 pm

mikeohhh wrote:oh for christ's sake...

What part of this thread are you moaning about, or is that just a general expression of malaise over the whole affair?

mikeohhh · #67 Post by **mikeohhh** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 8:15 pm

matt wrote:
mikeohhh wrote:oh for christ's sake...
What part of this thread are you moaning about, or is that just a general expression of malaise over the whole affair?

it was the asphalt thing, but now I think that was tongue-in-cheek

skuhn8 · #68 Post by **skuhn8** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 5:52 am

very tongue-in-cheek

Theodore R. Stockton · #69 Post by **Theodore R. Stockton** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:52 am

Fat Asses Rejoyce! There are now Criterion and Janus shirts in XL and XXL.

Bazarov · #70 Post by **Bazarov** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:08 am

but still no international shipping

indiannamednobody · #71 Post by **indiannamednobody** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:09 pm

Theodore R. Stockton wrote:Fat Asses Rejoyce! There are now Criterion and Janus shirts in XL and XXL.

Hooray.

portnoy · #72 Post by **portnoy** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:39 pm

congratulations, fat people! one reason less to justify getting in shape!

souvenir · #73 Post by **souvenir** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:36 pm

Hey! Some people need those sizes, not because they're fat, but because they're tall. Even a large size would probably look like a belly shirt on people 6'2" and above.

toiletduck! · #74 Post by **toiletduck!** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:57 pm

Pshaw! Keep rationalizing that flab... I'm 6'3'' and granted, I'm a skinny motherfucker, but my closet is a good 80% mediums (the other 20% is actually split between larges and even a couple of smalls).

-Toilet Dcuk

indiannamednobody · #75 Post by **indiannamednobody** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:00 pm

I'm 6'6", bout 220, and no Large will ever fit me no way no how.
They should have XXXL for those of us who are G'd up from that feet up.